Be Careful What you Love

Do you love chocolates? or Do you love that designer bag you saw at the online store? or Do you love your work? Are you absolutely sure it is love you feel?

We use the word "love" everyday for trivial things. It has replaced the words, "like" and "enjoy". We often say it for things which are merely pleasing, but evoke no sense of warmth.

Sure, you can love these things that do not love you back—even the sky or a mountain or the sea. But this habitual use of the word, "love", to express less ardent feelings can minimise the real potential of love in its real sense.

What is love, anyway? Is it an attraction, a fascination, a passion, or what?

The basic meaning of love is understood primarily in relationships between persons, which is directional. There is a lover and a beloved - we don't just love things, but we love at someone.

True love is interwoven with sacrifice. It expands our hearts and make us capable in the sense of denying oneself for the sake of someone.

The first love mentioned in the Bible is not romantic love, but parental love (Genesis 22).

When you were born, what were your parent's reaction to you, whom they have just laid their eyes for the first time? I am sure despite your big head, with no neck, short legs and big, distended torso, In short, you looked like E.T., they felt a tremendous joy and love when they saw you. In their minds, they vowed, "I would do anything for this child, no matter what it takes."

That's how my husband and I felt when I gave birth to each of our 3 sons. They looked so adorable no, no never like E.T. at all!

In the About page of this blog , I describe myself as a Good Shepherd. My children are my sheep. They recognise my voice and they follow me. I even gave up a rewarding IT career to take care of them and to spend time with them and to teach them good values and skills. A hired worker will run away when the wolf comes, but the Good Shepherd is willing to lay down his life for his sheep. That is true love!

Love is accompanied with an action —the feeling is performed. We know in our bones that love is not just a feeling alone, but it wells up into action. That is why we often hear the phrase "you don't act like you love me."

People have different ways of giving and receiving love. Some feel loved with Words of Affirmation, others through Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts or Quality Time.

In every situation we have a choice whether to use our treasured capacity for speech to offer words of affirmation as fragrant as flowers, or to give a warm embrace that fills the senses like the summer, or buy a thoughtful present even when there is no occasion, or perform little acts of kindness, like preparing breakfast in bed or just merely walking together at the park to spend quality time.

True Love when expressed in a way that our loved ones can understand has the power to make sorrow and sadness disappear like snow in the sun.

When we were young children, we equate a hug and a kiss to this great wonderful feeling between parents and kids. Love for them means they get attention from those who loves them. One cry " waah ! and the parents will jump on their child to lift him up and to soothe him with kisses . In return, the child would be so happy to do whatever pleases their parents!

When we are young adults, we think that love may be some kind of cheesy movie moments. Love means the star-lit eyes, the surprise bouquet of flowers at your door, the tingling and merriment of your heart as your thoughts are filled with excitement about that special 'someone?'

When we're middle aged, we start to learn that love is all about self-sacrifice , expressed through devotion, loyalty, and responsibility. And that includes sometimes, if not most of the time, when the person we are self-sacrificing for could care less about our self-sacrifice for them. According to Saint Pope John Paul II, "Mothers are given much love but also much pain".

When we are old, we learn that love is really about valuing the things of the next world infinitely more than the things of this world, and that heartfelt prayer to God is what love is all about.

Whatever stage of life we are in, Love remains a practical virtue: It dwells in God’s presence but works for the good of others.

So make love your one clear goal in life and spend your energy by loving only what really matters. When we do this we will run the race focusing on simple, daily, self-giving actions of the heart.