The Power of a Hug, a Kiss and I Love You!

Have you hugged your child at least once in the last 24 hours? Have you kissed your spouse at least once in the last 24 hours? Have you said “I love you" to your parents at least once in the last 24 hours?

And if not, when was the last time you held someone special close to your heart for a few moments? When was the last time you kissed them lovingly on the cheek or sincerely whispered “I love you” into their ears?

Do you know that according to American author and psychotherapist, Virginia Satir,

"We need four hugs a day for survival.? We need eight hugs a day for maintenance? And we need 12 hugs a day for growth”?

Studies have shown that hugging and kissing and the words "i love you", are

healthy for the body and the mind.

They can reach the soul.

They can create a sense of belonging!

They can boost self-esteem!

They are understood as affirmations of love that act like cement to strengthen relationships

They can bring about a sense of security that nothing else can express!

My husband and I raised our children with hugs, kisses and “i love you’s” as part of our daily routine. As babies and young toddlers, we hugged them, kissed them and said “I love you” to them in the morning, in between playtimes, during bath times and meal times, and at bedtime. When they started schooling, I wake them up in the morning by gently running my fingers through their back and hair. I embrace them tightly and kiss them tenderly as I whisper “I love you” into their ears, until they wake up.

I believe that the first few minutes and hours of the day are the most important. That’s the time when our minds are just awake and completely receptive to anything that comes along without the filters of logical thinking. Any ill choice of words or tone of voice may immediately spoil the day. What better way to help our loved ones start their day with a positive attitude than through a warm hug, a tender kiss and a sincere “I love you”? It brings out the emotions that prepare them to face the day!

These words and gestures also mark our hellos and goodbyes, which usually happen at our doorstep and their school gates. We are always welcomed home from work with tiny embraces and wet kisses. It has become our family tradition that even now that our sons are aged 21, 18 and 16 years old, it gladdens our hearts to feel their warmth and affection when they drop whatever they are doing to meet us at the door with a big hug and a tender kiss, which is now relatively dry!

When children are used to receiving and giving love through hugs and kisses, they develop a natural and spontaneous ability to display their affection to their loved ones regardless of where they may be.

I will never forget how proud and special I felt at a parent teachers meeting at Ezekiel’s school. He was 15 years old at Secondary 4. I arrived late in a jam-packed hall with the graduating students already seated with their parents. I sat at the back to avoid attracting attention while the Principal was giving her speech. As soon as the school head finished her address, I saw Ezekiel stand up from the far end of the hall in the front row. He walked towards me, kissed me lovingly on the cheek and gently took my hand. He led me to the seat at the front beside his. While we were walking past tens of rows of pupils, parents and teachers, there was loud cry in chorus with a big “Awwww!” I looked at my son but he didn’t seem to be bothered. Then I asked him, “Ez, what was that all about?”, and he replied, “Ma, that’s because I am holding your hand”. I felt like With my head held high, (even if I was late), I couldn’t help but feel elated, enchanted and delighted that my teenaged son is so proud to show everyone how much he cares for me, without any worry of being labeled a mama’s boy!

Later, when we reached our seat, I teased him and whispered, “I am very sure every girl’s parent in this hall looks at you as a dream boyfriend for their daughter!” Then he said shyly, “Shhhh ma, not so loud, they can hear you!”

I honor my husband for modelling to our sons what a true and loving gentleman should be. He always holds my hand as if automatically, when we are sitting on the couch watching tv, or when we are outside walking together. When we are strolling at the mall, it is not only romantic, but also economic! Whenever I say, “Sweetheart I love that dress! Look at that!” He will lovingly hold me, very tightly, making sure that I do not wander alone by leading me away from the store and say “Sweetheart, let's check it out later. I heard that the coffee at the other side is fantastic! Let’s try it there first!”

The sad truth is, we will forget all about that dress after having coffee! But what's even more sad is we are too busy to hug, to kiss and to say “I love you” to those people who are close to our heart! The world may heal a great deal if we will hug more, kiss more and say I love you more to our loved ones! So do your bit. Get into a new habit!

When you go home tonight, give your child a bear hug and kiss him or her! Then hug and kiss your spouse, squeezing and holding him or her for a while, enjoying that moment! When you meet your mother or father, brother or sister, don't just kiss the air on their cheeks or shake their hands. Open your arms wide and, that's right, recharge your loved ones with a powerful hug, a loving kiss and the sweetest “I love you”! <3