It's the Parents!

Parents are first and foremost responsible for the education of their children.

Each day of our lives, we make deposits in our children’s memory banks. Every word we speak and every action we perform, in the presence of our child, regardless of whether it is directed at the child or not, will greatly contribute in building his or her character.

When a toddler runs wild at the supermarket, cruising through the aisles, reaching for every treat he likes with his little hands, and tossing them in a bursting shopping cart, can we blame the child? Certainly Not! It’s the parents!

When you as a child performed marvelously onstage in your community, what did you hear your neighbors whisper to one another as you passed by? Didn’t you hear them say… “isn’t that the son or daughter of Mr and Mrs so and so?

Our parish priest always blames the parents when children misbehave at the church.

The bottom line is whatever the child becomes, he or she does not receive the honor or dishonor! It’s the Parents!

Last December, on our way for a family holiday, my husband and I heard our greatest affirmation as parents from no less than our own children. While waiting to board at the airport, we went to grab some tea. Nathaniel then, asked us “Dad, Ma, How did you do that? “ We almost replied in a chorus, “Hmmmn…what did we do?”. “You know,” Ezekiel said, “ raising us that we never ever fight?” .

We looked at each other with sparkles in our eyes! Feeling a sense of pride that we accomplished something remarkable! We tried to recollect what we exactly did in raising them.

Having witnessed serious siblings clashes from their friends, they are mystified at how their friends could not relate to their own siblings. A Sister not getting along with another. A brother not seeing eye to eye with a brother or a sister, while the 3 of them, I must say, commendably get along really well!

What struck me is they know that it was not just because they are naturally good kids, but they acknowledge our ways of raising them.

Then their dad asked them, “remember what we always told you every time you’re going out together? And they replied together in a most boring and monotonous tone , “Take care of each other”. "There! That’s the magic formula!", I said.

We placed great emphasis on love & respect for the older ones and a loving and caring concern for the younger ones.

While good manners include saying “please” and “thank you”, we went the extra mile and taught them how to reconcile with each other by saying “I am sorry”, and “I forgive you”, when they have misunderstandings. We taught them how to be sensitive of each other's feelings.

We reminisced over a cup of tea those times in their growing years when their dad and I tried as much as we can to treat each of them as fairly as possible. There was never a trace of envy or jealousy between them. They were clear about their distinct roles in the family. The older ones have to set a good example and the younger ones just have to follow and obey.

Each of them had their own gifts and talents and we never compared them to one another. We affirmed them and celebrated their own accomplishments and achievements.

They marveled at how I gave up a rewarding IT career so I can spend time with them, reading them bedtime stories, and teaching them how to read, to write and to count, and later fetching them to and from school while I listen to their exciting stories.

They took great pride in using hand-me-downs as if they got them from a famous celebrity auction. An Old cellphone of their dad’s is fondly cherished as if it once belonged to Steve Jobs. They treasured Old shoes and used Jackets from their older brother as though they were previously owned by their idols, like Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson. Somehow, someway, sharing things and stuff fueled a stronger siblings bond among them.

And nodding their heads, they understood and realized the importance of what we have been constantly teaching them. Day in and day out, our words of wisdom resonated in their ears like a broken record.

I take delight in our sons' commitment to our regular family dialogue to reconnect with us.

Indeed, my husband and I are reaping the fruits of our sacrifice in raising our children! Finally, our Patience, Persistence and Perseverance these past 20 years are starting to yield a rich harvest! We are reaping what we sowed!

A full measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over is our reward! So much more than any other profession in this world!

Nurturing great and wholesome kids begin at home – their first school and we as their parents should make the most of this golden opportunity as our children’s very first teachers!

May God bless your family!